Welcome to arsebook!

Fed up with pretending to be perky, sociable and well-connected? Tired of prospective employers Googling their way to a photo of you naked, splattered with vomit and in the back of a police car? Had enough of people you'd like to have sex with taking one look at what an idiot you are online and deciding to have sex with somebody else? Then Arsebook is the networking site for you.

No nonesense with grinning photos and crap about how cool and go-getting you are. Just upload a photocopy of your arse, a list of the subjects you have no interest in discussing and another list of the people you used to be friends with but really don't want to hear from again. Round it off with a fake email address and notice that you are now deceased, and you'll be all set for trouble-free social networking from now on. Anybody you actually want to contact you will have your phone number and know where you live.

NEW! shitter

Send messages of no more than 140 characters to all your friends every time you go to the toilet. And of course, receive dozens of toilet-themed messages in return every day. Shitter: you'll wonder how you ever lived without it.

So there you have it: arsebook and shitter. Exactly the sort of thing you've come to expect from Poot! Comic. Click here to return to the main Poot! website. Quick, before anyone catches you looking at this childish nonesense.